I do alot of thinking. It's a plague...

One of the things I am coming to think about lately, though, is 'the truth'. Specifically, how much it offends me. Ask anyone, anywhere, any time, 'What is the truth...' about any given subject, and you will get seven billion different answers. Namely because you will have to ask about seven billion people. How is this 'truth'?

Now, if you remove subjectivity form the mix, you end up with just the cold, hard facts. Which will weigh as 'truth' until scrutinized and overturned by someone else's colder, harder facts. Which is all fine and good, but I am a romantic at heart, so I tend to be prejudiced against 'facts' when it suits me. Which is most of the time.

Now, what really jams in my craw and gets me riled up, is the concept of 'The Greater Truth'. People throw this one about a lot, and quite frankly; I don't think they know what the fuck it means. 'Greater Truth'? Here you have 'truth', which is already mired dubious provenance; steeped in a veritable VAT of subjectivity and preposition - the literary trans fat laced cornmeal batter, if you will.

It is my position that any 'truth' arrived at by the human mind is flawed by design, and therefore should automatically be relegated to a default position of 'Lesser and Highly Suspect Truth-Like Product'.

Current Location: Diogenes Barrel, Sinopes
Feelings: Philosophical
Tunage: Placebo - Pure Morning

I woke up this morning to a frightening realization... I only have one year left on my cellular phone contract! What the hell has this all come to? Me... in a 2 year contract. That's over half finished. I haven't even had a romantic relationship that's lasted that long. Oh, and it's only a month until my birthday.

Turning 25.
For the eighth time.
Fuck relativity.
Fuck it right in it's ass.

Seems I have slipped back into Security like an old shoe. Worn, but comfortable, so what the hell, right? They pay me to sit in a mostly empty building at night and not be a complete fuck-up when something goes wrong. I used to save the emails I got praising me for not losing my head in the flashing lights and blaring electronic tones when someone leaves the coffee pot on on the 4th floor. Again.

Now I don't even read them.

The Elizabeth-daughter is doing well. We text frequently. I am not sure how I feel about that. I really do see the emergence of the internet and communication as a double-edged sword. It increases the ease of contact? But it also dehumanizes that contact. So much is lost in the translation to those tiny, tiny keys. But it's nice to know she got my temperament and not her mothers.

Mary. Mary, mary, quite contrary.
Love me, hate me, it's all elementary.

Going to have a friend come up for a concert in April. The Killers. Should be amusing.

Money goes in, money goes out. The whole thing starts over again.

And finally.. Haiku.

I waited four years.
For you to run out of breath.
Now I want to hear.

Tags: rhetoric
Current Location: Home is where the heart is. The heart is open to definition.
Feelings: Alive
Tunage: Steamroller ~ Pigface

As soon as you and your wife submit to sterilization.

The depts of human stupidity...

I kind of wonder if these two would appreciate teh joke if I sent the kid a personalized birthday cake with rat poison in it.

"It's a Nazi cake! With Auschwitz filling!!"

Fucking morons.

Tags: breeding, rhetoric
Current Location: Punching this guy in the scrote.
Feelings: Lackluster
Tunage: Live ~ Selling the Drama

Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
Turn to page 56.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post that sentence along with these instructions on your LJ.
Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.
If I had to break out a tape measure, so do you!

"Let's say we want to... I don't know, buy a new data pad."

Tags: memalicious!
Current Location: In your mind!
Feelings: curious
Tunage: Polka!

Look, for the last fucking time...

As a non-Christian, I am gonna spell it out, okay? Christmas is not under attack. We don't really care about your fucking mangers, we don't care about your fucking 'Merry Christmas', and frankly we don't rub it in your face that you can't read a fucking calendar every god damn year. We DO care that you have to do it in our fucking faces.

Every.

Fucking.

Year.

We don't see the Jews go around waving bloody foreskins in our faces and screaming 'MOZELTOV!', do we? Then go be mery somewhere else, okay?

Tags: holidays
Current Location: In your manger, donkey punching Joseph!
Feelings: annoyed
Tunage: 'Here Comes Santaclause'

Okay, I need to get something off my chest, and straight with all of you; my friends.

I don't comprehend dates. It's a learning disability of mine or something. Historic dates, anniversaries, holidays and even the all important 'birthdays'. Hell, I don't even fucking remember when I get paid, half the time.

I am sorry. From the depths of my heart, I offer to all of you, my sincere apologies.

I do not do this out of spite. It's just how I am.

I know dates are very important to many of you, and I may have trod on toes once or twice in my 'calendrical* ineptitude'. Yet it does not mean you are not all near and dear to my heart. From making out on New Years Eve, 1999, and 'ORANGE Millanos?!' To the cool discussions on anime, to the times I cleaned your house for money to pay rent. The countless hours of sharing other lives and other times in role-playing, to the lives in the 'here and now' that just sadly were not to be. There are so many other things about all of you that are ingrained in my very being, and will never be forgotten; I beg your indulgence on this 'dates' thing.

I just lost a friend of 20 years because I forgot his birthday last month. You'd think he would have picked up on the fact that I forgot the other 19, as well. Alas, he's seen fit to take his ball and go home.

And honestly, if this is reason enough for our association, partnerships, friendships or relations to come to an end; let me just save us both a lot of trouble, and just say:

Fuck you. Get lost.

Thank you for your time. Have a nice day.

* = It's a word now, damnit. See? It's made up of letters, and everything.

Tags: rhetoric
Current Location: Monday, I think?
Feelings: angry
Tunage: The Beatles ~ Birthday

While watching some special on the Great Wall of China, an archaeologist was filmed as describing the 1568 Mongol siege of Beijing as "The September 11th of Ancient China."

I want to fucking kill people.

We are a land without perspective. We are lost.

Current Location: America, unfortunately...
Feelings: dissapointed, frankly...
Tunage: Oh, what the fuck does it matter?

Who am I voting for? Obama.

To clarify, I will vote for Obama in November. I did not vote for anyone today. Why?

Because I hate the whole Party Oath thing. It's complete bullshit, but that's another story.

Current Location: Out the door
Feelings: on the go
Tunage: Yoko Kanno ~ Trip City

We haven't gotten along quite as famously as we could have. I try to hide my shame, but honestly... Look, that's not why I am writing. This is important, damn it. I am going to be the bigger man, and I am going to ask nicely, for the sake of civility.

As in, being civil... civilized conduct... characteristic of a state of civilization ; especially: characterized by taste, refinement, or restraint.

Let's all be civil about this, okay? We can do it.

Deep breath.

It's February 6th, 2008. A year we have all been waiting upon for longer than it seems I can remember. It does not take a rocket surgeon to note that the term of office of one George W. Bush is coming to an end. Lord knows you're no fucking rocket surgeon- Damnit, Tim... That's not right! You're better than this! Hold it together, man!

I'm sorry. That was wrong. Let's move on.

Big decisions need to be made and our beloved shepherds in the comedic pundit arena are not with us. Our prayers go out daily to Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, in the hopes that this writers strike ends, and they can start being funny again, soon.

Even still, we all know what we must do. Even to the dim witted amongst you, certain obvious traps should be easily avoided at the polls. Traps like Dennis Kucinich, Rudy Giuliani and that crazy guy who keeps foaming at the mouth at the mention of September 11th... which is just about all of them, I guess... Ron Paul. That's the one.

So far, so good. Yet, for some reason, Fred Thompson is still in the race... Yeah, I like Law & Order, too. Watch it all the damn time, but seriously. The guy is 108 years old. Let's learn from the Dick Cheney incidents, shall we? Fred Thompson might actually kill someone on a hunting trip.

Where was I? Oh, right... It's going to be an Election of Firsts, this year. Either we will have our First National Brain Fart and vote for another Republican Regeim, where we can look forward to more 'pressing national issues' like Immigration Reform, Blowing Up More Foreign Brown People for Oil or possibly the inept salvation of an economy that the GOP managed to completely trash when The Dubayah took the wheel? All the while we'll manage to accomplish absolutely NOTHING for another four years except more military spending and more fences for the Mexican Olympic Pole Vaulting team to practice on and more money for the military-

Okay, here's a question, for you folks in the Service. If we're spending so much money on the military every year, why is it the only places you still see rotary phones in use is in the Military? I just dropped a $88.10 turd on the IRS's porch, in a flaming paper bag. Can I ask that someone use that moolah to get you guys an actual phone? Feel free to clean it off, first.

Moving on.

Maybe we will have our First Woman President- No, not RuPaul, the Republican Candidate's name is RON Paul, and RuPaul isn't a woman! Knock it off! I told your mother she should have left you outside for the dogs.

Or we'll have our First Black President- What? Yes, I know RuPaul is black... the hell is it with you and the cross-dressing pop stars? Although.. if you were to place a picture of Hilary Clinton and Barak Obama on either side of RuPaul...



Wow...

I, just... wow... nauseous...

I'm sorry... I can't go on, like this. I... I am going to be sick...

Come November, go out and vote. Please. That's all I ask. Let's not have less than 50% of the people show up and 80% of you bitching like you actually did something about it, okay?

Current Location: Hiding under the bed.
Feelings: nauseous
Tunage: Apoptygma Berzerk ~ Non-Stop Violence

After being awoken by my girlfriend at the time, we had some kind of joking exchange and I accidentally called her 'Kate', which happened to be the name of my ex-girlfriend, of whom she was rather insecure.

Drama ensued.

The truth is, I was actually thinking of a friend, Kate James, whom I used to work with at Amazon.com. And NOT the Kathy McD, whom I was seeing prior. But honestly, you try and explain this shit to someone, and you quickly come to the realization; you'd rather just be an asshole and eat your cereal in some semblance of peace and sanity.

Tags: rhetoric
Current Location: The Past
Feelings: pondering
Tunage: Flaming Lips - Haven't Got a Clue